As to where I last left off: I’m Keanu Reeves as H2O Delirious, I came a lot, and me and hundreds of Pakemans were about to do a lot of GTA sheite. Do you take the red pill or the blue pill? To fucking bad there’s no choices. I’ll just take both. BIG DICK MODE ENABLED. Summary concluded.
We finally reached Plagues house in Indiana, or was it Kentucky? I can’t remember but anyways he was outback and he stared at us with his hyper-realistic eyes and said, “Who the fuck are you assholes and what are those pokemon doing to my animals?” We looked back to see the Pakemans have hyper-realistic cybers with the animals. Muthar and I just shrugged and responded with, “The ancient dev codes speak of your destiny of helping us take down ToonPimp and freeing the Super Best Friends cast. Will you join us on this quest Sir Gripes?” He gave us a hyper-realistic WTF look. I just realized, how can somthign real be Hyper-Realistic if it’s real? I don’t fucking know this my story thgh btch so SU&D LOLOLOLOLOOLOLLOOLOLOOLOOLLIPOPLLLLOOOLLL.
“The fuck are talking about?” He responded. I replied, “I my WiFi’s not great. We need yours.” We tp’ed into his house and he showed us his computer.
“What the fuck do you need to do anyways?” Muthar responded this time, “The Super Best Friends are trapped in a stupid flash fan game and we need to get them out.” “Ok but why do you need WiFi if you have the flash drive on you?” “The game is some what broken and we can only get to the file with a certain other game.” “What’s the game?” Plague asked. “That furry sex text adventure RPG ‘Corruption of Champions’.” I responded.
Plague looked at us and laughed, “I already downloaded that. Just go the documents area.” Sure enough he had CoC_9.2 in his documents folder. “So all we have to do is boot it up and we free those assholes?” Plague asked.
“It’s not that simple, you see the file runs the game in an image format style (or some shit like that I forgot what he said) so we’ll be metaphysically teleported into the game as our hyper-realistic versions.” “But we won’t suffer from the experience in anyway other than some disturbed mental imagery?” “Oh yeah we’ll be fine.”
We then stepped into the Oculus Rift VR Chamber and grabbed some VR Ak47s and proceeded to the Virtual Furry sex filled lore world (of warcock). After the intro we used our two-way codex to contact Leonardo DiCaprio and Chris Jericho to make sure the countermeasures were set up. Once we had confirmation we proceeded on our journey. Days later we reached the “ending” and proceeded to the final boss. As I haven’t reached the end before I just have to assume that Shao Khan from Mortal Kombat was not the final boss for some reason. “Puny Mortals,” he boomed, “Do you think that ToonPimp who is staying the Holiday Inn would let noobs free the SBFP group? I, Shao Khan shall…” we
would never hear the rest of the sentence as he shot his shit up bad with our Aks. Seriously why doesn’t everybody do that? You have time to shoot the fucker just do it! They always wait for the speech and the guard or henchmen ambush them or the guy runs off. I get the theatrics part but still Logic fuckers.
We then proceeded to free the SBFP from their entrapment. We proceeded to the real world where the SBFP awoke from the stasis pods. Liam bowed to us and said “Thank you for saving us, now I’ll use my Japan connections to get bombers to blow up that Holiday Inn where ToonPimp is staying at.” We stared at the horizons as the explosion popped over the mountains.
We were to proceeded on our way but were stopped as the ROFLCopter appeared ahead of us. A man in a trench coat stepped out with UberHaxorNova. “James what are you doing here? ToonPimp’s dead.” The man in the trench coat was no other than Joel from Vinesuace. He then spoke, “True but after my intrusion as president of bombing Norway with our all our nuclear missiles, the monsters from the NES Godzilla Creepypasta have come out of Cyber-Hell and are assaulting the world. We need you and the rest of this group and the Super rangers to join us in the effort to defeat the monsters!” Soon Markiplier, AVGN, Brutal Moose, AngryJoe, and the lead scientist Bill Nye the Science Guy appeared out of the chopper. “That’s good and all but why us?” Scott the giant dick from Canada asked. “They’ve kidnapped John Cena and we need to rescue him but the elephants of harmony have been stolen and we need you and your Gmod action movie scene powers from Mr. Reeves and the super-megazord to save Cena and the elephants.”
Being left with no choice we proceeded to the ROFLCopter to continue our adventure. Will we survive? What does the WWE have to do with this? Where the hell did the Pakemans go? TWO bee Cuntinued…(by me or others.) Just add Links.